What to Do When a Parent Dies: A Step-by-Step Guide
When a parent dies, there is so much to think about.
There are phone calls to make, people to notify, arrangements to coordinate, and a tremendous amount of grief to process.
And in the middle of all of that, someone has to figure out what happens to your parent’s financial life.
What if you don't know where their accounts are?
What if you can't find the will?
What bills are set up on autopay?
Who needs to be notified?
If you're wondering what to do when a parent dies, it's important to know that you don't have to figure everything out at once. In fact, slowing down and getting organized can help you avoid a number of problems.
Step 1: Give Yourself Time
There are some things that need to happen quickly, but not everything does. You are likely grieving and exhausted, which is not the best time to make financial decisions.
Take a breath and focus on the immediate needs, and then give yourself some grace to work through the rest.
The pressing issues include:
Get a legal pronouncement of death and death certificate.
Notify close family, friends, employers and employees.
Locate any documents in which your parent may have indicated their interment wishes, or taken steps to secure a burial plot.
Ensure their home and property are locked up and secure.
Provide care for any pets.
Make funeral arrangements.
During this time, be especially cautious about anyone who suddenly contacts you claiming they are owed money or that you need to pay a fee to receive insurance or other funds.
Death-related scams are on the rise, as people can be particularly vulnerable after a loved one dies. When in doubt, don't provide personal or account information to an unexpected caller. Take the time to verify claims independently before sending money or sharing information.
Step 2: Find the Important Documents
Following the funeral, it's time to find the will, determine the executor, and start gathering any documents you can find.
If your parent created an organized end-of-life plan, you may already have a roadmap that tells you about their assets and where you can find them. If not, that's okay, you can begin creating your roadmaps by looking for information about
A will or trust
Power of attorney documents
Life and other insurance policies
Bank and investment account statements
Retirement account information
Real estate records
Tax returns
Bills and recurring expenses
Information about businesses or other significant assets
Contact information for attorneys, financial advisors, accountants, or other professionals
Don't assume everything will be neatly filed in one place. You may need to look through filing cabinets, desk drawers, mail, email, online accounts, and other places where your parent kept financial information.
Step 3: Figure Out Who Needs to Be Called
Once you've started identifying accounts and documents, make a list of the people and organizations that need to be notified.
Depending on your parent's situation, that might include:
The attorney handling the estate
Financial advisors
Banks and investment companies
Insurance companies
The Social Security Administration
Pension or retirement plan administrators
Credit card companies
Mortgage or other lenders
Utilities and other service providers
Healthcare providers
The tax professional who prepared your parent's returns
Don't feel like you need to make every call immediately.
Keep a running list of who you've contacted, when you contacted them, what you were told, and what needs to happen next. This simple record can save you from making the same phone call three times, or wondering six weeks later whether something was ever taken care of.
Step 4: Review Autopayments
This is an easy one to overlook.
Many people have bills automatically charged to a bank account or credit card. After a parent dies, you'll want to understand what is being paid automatically and determine what should continue, what should be canceled, and what may need to be handled differently.
That could include:
Utilities
Phone and internet
Insurance premiums
Subscriptions (Amazon Prime, Netflix, or meal delivery)
Credit cards
Mortgage payments
Memberships (health clubs, AARP)
Other recurring services (cleaning services, home maintenance)
Don't cancel everything automatically. Some expenses may need to continue while the estate is being settled.
The important thing is to know what's happening, so make sure to review bank and credit card statements to identify recurring payments.
Step 5: Make a List of Assets and Obligations
As you work through your parent's financial records, you're likely to find things you knew about and things you didn't.
You may discover a long-term care plan that can pay for medical bills, a retirement account you weren't aware of, or other assets that need attention.
You may also find unpaid bills, loans, or other obligations.
This is why the goal isn't simply to "find the money." It's to understand the bigger picture.
Create a running list of what you've found, what you've verified, and what still needs investigation.
You Don't Have to Do All of This Alone
Settling a parent's financial life can feel like another full-time job, and the hardest part isn't any one task. It's keeping track of all the little things: the paperwork, the phone calls, the bills, the accounts, the follow-ups, and the questions you don't even know to ask yet.
That's where a daily money manager can help.
DMMs are well versed in:
organizing financial information.
identifying bills and recurring payments.
keeping track of paperwork and follow-up calls.
communicating with financial professionals and other service providers.
ensuring important administrative details don't fall through the cracks.
They aren't a replacement for an attorney or other professionals handling the legal and estate aspects of the process. Rather, they can help with the practical financial work that happens behind the scenes.
What's more, is that many DMMs have gone through this process before and understand the steps that need to be taken. At Everyday Money Management, we have the experience and compassion, as well as a proven roadmap, to help families navigate this difficult territory.
If this type of guidance could help your family through a difficult time, please contact us today.